Mets Celebrate Second Annual September ChokeFest: Curmudgeon's Corner (8)

      Smokey Burner, the Broken Stove's resident curmudgeon, doesn't often find himself at a loss for words, but that is the case with Smokey this morning. You see, Smokey is a Mets fan, and last night Smokey watched his Mets--for the second year in a row--make early plans for their October golf vacations. Technically, they were playing an important game against the Cubs in the middle of a playoff race, but metaphorically, they were on the phone with their travel agents, booking flights to Pebble Beach.
      And Smokey witnessed the whole bloody debacle. Smokey cheered when Carlos Delgado, who has almost single-handedly carried the team to the brink of the playoffs since the All-Star break, hit a grand slam to give the Mets a four run lead. Smokey frowned when volatile pitcher Oliver Perez told Carlos "thanks, but no thanks" and promptly pissed that lead away. Smokey's flagging hopes were raised in consecutive innings when the Mets had a runner on third with nobody out, then dashed as they only managed one run in those innings--on a bases-loaded walk.
      But the much-maligned bullpen was doing just well enough to give the Mets a shot, and when the bottom of the ninth rolled around they were still tied at six. Then rookie Daniel Murphy, a bright spot in the lineup all year, opened the bottom of the ninth with a triple, and the heart of the order was coming up. Smokey wondered to himself about the statistics--with a runner on third and nobody out, how often does at least one run score? Seventy percent of the time? Eighty? More? David Wright--the Mets' RBI leader--had a 3-0 count, but could not single, or fly out, or even ground out to the right side of the infield. He struck out swinging at ball four. That's all right, thought Smokey, we've got two more shots, and the odds are still way with us. The Cubs walked Delgado and Beltran to get to Church, who grounded meekly into a force at the plate. Suddenly, Smokey was less sanguine. Suddenly, Smokey had thoughts of 2007 and deja vu all over again. Sure enough, Ramon Castro then struck out on three pitches, and Smokey knew what would happen next.
      Let's try a little hypothetical exercise, shall we? In a key game for them, and knowing the team they are chasing in the standings has already lost that day, a baseball team (let's call them the Mutts) have three consecutive innings (including the bottom of the ninth) with runners on third and nobody out--and manage only one run. Their opponents (let's call them the Cabs), in a game that doesn't matter to them at all, have two outs and nobody on in the tenth inning, then score three runs to win the game. Which of these teams is most likely to already be in the playoffs? Oh, yes, Smokey knows the Mutts, umm Mets, might still sneak into the playoffs ahead of the Brewers. Heck, they might even catch a break and catch the Phillies.
      But Smokey knows they've already made that metaphorical call to the travel agent. Smokey knows they've already got tee times.